My body is expanding quicker than I can shove that cupcake down my face “sigh”

It’s time to get my act together it’s time to take control

1. I deserve the self respect
2. I deserve to feel good about myself
3. I really love my “skinny” jeans not skinny jeans as such but the jeans I only fit in when I’m skinny
4. My husband deserves more than hearing my constant complaints
5. I don’t want to feel like this any longer

And to work towards this

1. Exercise
2. Accountability
3. Trust in myself

EAT for a healthy me and not for my emotional meltdown

Here’s something to cheer all us southern hemisphere girls up…and get us ready for spring…

Ive spent oodles of time over at www.lookbook.nu lately breathing in the inspiration and holding onto the hope of sun and light and love and happiness

image source
On a whim, I spent Saturday afternoon browsing the local op-shops. I’ve flirted with the idea of op-shopping over the years and fantasised of reconstructing awesome finds into totally fabulous new items, of which everyone would gush and admire…but it never really took off…and I don’t believe I even bothered to go to the actual stores.

I am not normally a shopper – I hate walking into a clothing store and seeing the perfect mannequins with the perfect clothes and I hate wishing I could look like that, only to try them on and be disappointed. In actual fact I love shopping I love going into stores and seeing all the pretty things…but I hate trying them on and I rarely buy…we spent three weeks in the USA in April / May spent 75% of the time shopping and I hardly bought a thing!

 So back to Saturday; I was bored, frustrated, lonely and full of angst – I was and still am in desperate need of new clothes but just as desperate to not spend the $$ required. And I was driving through town down the op-shop strip, when I decided to pull in and just have a browse for something to do. And I had an amazing time…granted I only left with two items but those two items were marvellous…and I cant wait to incorporate them into an all ‘recycled’ wardrobe.

 Maybe it was something about the way the clothes didn’t look perfect, maybe it was the old lady behind the counter, maybe it was my new hair cut making me feel more confident, maybe it was my angsty creative mood…I don’t know what it was but I’m hooked! I’m on the look out for more places to visit and I’ strategically picking those out of the main road; I know I’m late to the vintage/retro/recycled party but I’m here and I’m determined to make a go of it.

 I am a lot more learned now, I’m browsing blogs constantly feeling inspired and in awe of the creations and fashions I see. I’m keeping my eyes open when I walk through town, and not just my town but many towns and I’m experiencing physical attraction to styles and the air of confidence those who wear them exude. Maybe its that confidence that I so desperately desire who knows

 I’m tentatively making a pledge to not buy any NEW clothes (with the exception of sale items, swimwear and underwear) who can pass up sales right???…in the next twelve months so all clothing purchases should be recycled or heavily reduced sale items

Phew…here we go!

Its Tuesday again…and I’ve woken with a dark ominous cloud shrouding my every move

Julia & Angus Stone are on repeat on my iphone and have been since I willed myself from the shower floor
I spent the hour long drive to work sobbing and honestly feel as if my heart is breaking

Ten minutes of self pep talk to get myself from the car to my desk and have created a wall of paperwork to hide behind.
I have everything…I should be happy

 Instead my husband and I haven’t spoken since Friday Night…and I can’t bring myself to break the silence
I’m as FAT as I have ever been in the past few years and I feel suffocated
I want to leave, and have gone so far as to look at rentals in small country towns within a few hours drive from here
I dream of taking my puppy and myself and starting a life all on my own

But that would be running away and wouldn’t solve anything 

SIL and my new BIL were married on Friday June 25 2010 at 2.30pm

It was a very private ceremony and reception, a loving, family orientated atmosphere with less than a dozen guests

I wish you all the best in a happy and lifelong marriage – you both truly deserve to be happy

…and after 12 years its about time you two tied the knot!

 Baking especially carrot and banana cake which I baked and devoured over the course of the weekend and found on this simply marvelous blog

My unopened Frankie magazine and the not-knowing of all its wonderful delights

Prime Minister # 27 and the first female to be in such a position….welcome to Julia Gillard

Previous PM Kevin Rudd or KRUDD as he was commonly known was elected in 2007 and at the time I remember being swept up in the joy and excitement of a Labor government and changing times…KRUDD rapidly fell out of my good graces as his smarmy weasel personality came to light and have spent the past 2 ½ years shaking my head in wonder at how I could have been so hoodwinked…that being said I couldn’t stand the previous government leadership or policies either so it was a lose lose situation.

I’m not sold on Gillards’ abilities or personality and I worry for the Labor party… this is too much fuss so soon before an election ??

But good luck Julia – I hope you win me and the country over!

image source

It was 11 degrees C this morning! Winter is definitely here *insert sad face*

But when Bertie started wriggling around and woke me at 6.15am rather than grumble and roll back over to try for a few more ZZZZ I jumped out of bed and went for a run..and it was still dark and cold and drab!

It was a short 3km to get me back in the swing of things and I walked a few hundred metres in there, but I was really proud of my time….its actually a PB

I ran 3km in 15.37min an average speed of 11 km an hour and my best km was only 4.54 minutes. My usual pace is a slow and steady 8-10kmph or 7-6 minute kilometres.

Being out and about this morning before the sun rose reminded me of how much I love running, and exercising, but golly it was chilly and tomorrow is tipped to be a lovely 4 degrees C.

As of this morning I’m following the intermediate training plan posted on the City to Surf website. It includes gradual increments in both speed and distance and is targeted for those who run regularly. While I haven’t been running regularly like I mentioned yesterday I have kept my sport up and I’d rather push myself harder now and get myself used to running again.

I love feeling motivated and the post exercise euphoria leaves me feeling as if I could take on the world….if only I could convince the scale to move in the right direction then all would be perfect in my little world.

 Well the bank owns most of it, but we pay the bank but I count that as owning my own home.

 This was the first achievement on my list, we signed the papers this time last year and moved in on March 22 2010.

The good thing about building a house from the ground up, is that it’s a completely blank canvas just waiting to be filled with our personality and style…the bad thing is that it is a completely blank canvas and all that sand is might daunting!

an extra bare back yard

I’m so excited to get my veggie patch in and I can’t wait until I have my own vegetables and herbs and flowers out there…but by golly there is a lot of work to be done first. Were about to head into July here in Australia and today is the shortest day of the year…best get cracking!

If anyone has any tips or links to starting a veggie patch from scratch please send them my way!